I suddenly feel like writing something here.

Been feeling unwell since the time I had the food poisoning. I can't remember the last time I feel fine. Things haven't been going well with a couple of my friends either. Blew my top at Sher the other day. I don't know why I got so mad then. Hearing the abuse whatshisname is putting her through should be old news to me, but I just get heated up whenever I hear the things he does, and I get even more mad when she isn't doing anything to get out of it.

Going out with me is deemed as a privilege that he thinks he's giving her. No one needs a special privilege to go out with friends. Especially someone who she knows for 6 years. It's not like we go clubbing and meet guys and get wasted.. We do normal things like have dinner and shop and bake and just hang out. I mean, I wanna spend time with her but I don't want to cater to his every whim and fancy as and when he likes. We can plan to go out for lunch and dinner but he can just demand that she goes home straight away. He doesn't care about her or my feelings and she just complies..

You should hear the things he says.. When she tells me, my mind is absolutely blank.. Totally blank. A classic example of speechless. You can't even begin to wonder how can this guy's thinking and mind possibly be this warped. I thought I've had my share of emotional blackmail from my past relationship, but this seriously takes the cake.

It's putting a pretty obvious strain on the friendship and I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue listening to all the shyt he's putting her through, and put up with him spoiling a day I've put aside for her. I even feel so damn guilty when Dave calls and I'm smiling when I'm talking to him. She looks at me and smiles but I know she's feeling damn hurt inside. What's the difference? We are both talking to someone we love who loves us too, but why is she crying and why am I laughing.

I'm taught not to try to persuade people to do things that they don't want to, and to leave what they want to change up to them to decide. And things have come to the point that I can only stand at the side and watch.

I know I've said things that were harsh and hurt her. It's been on my mind since then. But I can't say that I don't meant them. For me, it's like watching a man beat up his wife and she can only endure it, only worse because he's beating her up from the inside out and they're not even married and already he's being this way and she's doing squat to put herself out of this misery.. What will happen next time? It's only a matter of time that I'll seriously turn and face the other way.

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